Both Feet In - abridged
A 3 month women’s group coaching program to help you clean up your side of the street in partnership, commit to a decision, and take radical ownership over the life and love you want to have.
January 19th, 2024 - May 6th, 2024
"Is this feeling I'm having just relationship anxiety... or a sign I'm actually in the wrong relationship?"
"I can't tell if this is relationship anxiety or my intuition"
"How do I know for sure I'm in the right relationship?"
"I don't love him -- and I'm a horrible partner for staying"
"Is it anxiety or have we just fallen out of love?"
If these thoughts plague you late at night or paralyze you first thing in the morning, you're not alone.
In 2019, I made a post in a big spiritual womens' Facebook group, sharing a photo of me with my then-boyfriend (now husband). From the outside, it was just a photo of us on a date at the beach. But inside, I was victorious. I had recently finally decided to commit to my loving, sturdy partner and had let him know I was ready to be a married woman and would stop giving him mixed messages after 7 years. I held firm to that and didn’t waver since then. We were married less than 3 years later.
This momentous inner shift had occurred after overcoming some childhood trauma while on a soul-searching solo trip to Austria. I spent 3 weeks studying with a teacher named Stefi Preiss, who had amplified my existing studies in meditation, yoga, and embodiment. I begged to study under her, and have done so ever since -- and applied her teachings (amongst others) to my relationships, including the one with my now-husband. I shared this back story in that Facebook group.
I woke up to thousands of likes, hundreds of comments, and dozens of private messages asking to know what these tools were that allowed me to confidently pull my foot out the door without feeling like I was lying to myself... something had struck a chord.
Since then, I've shared my story hundreds of times on Instagram, Tiktok, and via my podcast. I began sharing the tools I learned with hundreds of clients -- women, men, and non-binary.
What I can tell you is this: relationship anxiety is a natural byproduct of our culture today.
Relationship anxiety is what happens when you're faced with a cocktail of the following societal conditions:
Perceived unlimited choices of partners (there's always someone better out there for you)
A shameful divorce rate, and therefore immense pressure to prevent it
Relational trauma, causing projections galore (blaming our partners for not meeting the needs we wish our parents/caregivers did)
A lack of transparency of the difficulties in modern relationships, making you think you're all alone and doing something wrong
A culture that encourages you to seek outside of yourself for emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and sexual fulfillment
A constant bombardment of reminders of your own mediocrity/failure on social media (as well as the convenient "solutions" presented right alongside them -- "Feeling average? Buy my program!" No, the irony is not lost on me, promoting my program.)
A lack of understanding of what actually creates attraction and then assuming you're "sexually incompatible" when common relationship advice fails to make you feel any closer to your partner
A lack of community and support for couples, leaving them to deal with their issues completely alone without effective resources
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How could one NOT have relationship anxiety?
Another thing I can tell you: relationship anxiety is not a disorder. It is a perfectly predictable response to the society you're living in, considering the messages you're receiving every day. Rest assured, you're a good person that got confused about how relationships really work.
If you can break out of the matrix of today's relational programming, you will stop being a victim to it. You can relax into the ebbs and flows of modern relationships and can start building the conscious partnership of your dreams.
Picture this:
You wake up, and get out of bed to meet your friend at the gym without worrying about whether you made the right choice to be with your partner... or spend the morning cuddling them, guilt-free
You have a community of others (and friends for life) holding you accountable to be your best self in life and in partnership…
You have a sense of humor that permeates the relationship, rather than a sense of dread
You're less attached to perfection in the relationship... which, ironically, means more things go your way without your conscious effort
You enjoy a sense of ease and peace about your relationship
Tiktoks and Hollywood rom-coms are enjoyable and don't send you into a spiral. You see the nuance in things, and don't take things at face value
You no longer need your partner to rescue you... and you no longer feel the need for them to change in order for you to be happy
Your partner wonders what’s gotten into you lately — and they start showering you with affection, acts of service, and unsolicited gifts… and doing the things you’d always wished they’d do
My intentions…
To support you in…
going from needing to know FOR SURE that your partner is "The One" before opening your heart, to trusting your decision NOW, getting your feet muddy in the game of love, and surrendering to the outcome with confidence, play, and ease.
stepping out of the suffocating whirlwind of "what-ifs?" and indecision around partnership, and into the empowerment of adult decision-making. I want you to be able to navigate the responsibilities and profound fulfillment that comes with commitment.
releasing resentment towards your partner (and people that have hurt you relationally) without them even knowing the work you did — finally clearing space to see them with new eyes, and experience them in a brand-new way.
This program is for you if:
You're a woman in a relationship with someone you'd like to potentially commit to or marry, but feel afraid to proceed
This person is kind, respectful, and capable of being faithful to you (no deliberate cruel behavior: abuse, addictions, or affairs)
You panic when you see messages telling you to leave your relationship or that you're "settling," and then seek reassurance from others (including Google)
You're single, but want to prevent these patterns in the future and have more confidence in dating
You have a stable, healthy partnership, but the connection has gotten a bit stale and dull, and you'd like to feel more alive and inspired
You take every thought about your relationship at face value, and spiral easily
You don't have anyone to talk to about your relationship anxiety (or don’t feel safe to)
You nitpick your partner, thinking if you could get them to change, you wouldn't have relationship anxiety
Why work with me?
Because I've been there. The first time I read Eat, Pray, Love, I spent the night preparing to break up with my boyfriend because I was sure this movie was saying that I was in a dead relationship and needed to break up. I cringe writing this. I initiated a "break" to "see how I feel” — and my boyfriend was confused and distraught. He went to go buy a $300 pair of jeans, thinking he was about to get back on the market. I cried hysterically for 2 days before begging for him back. It is a miracle he did. We are ecstatically and passionately married now, but it was a lot of work to get there.
All the work I learned to overcome relationship anxiety, I've used in ALL areas where uncertainty and relationships were concerned. The work has not stopped, but thanks to these tools, I feel equipped to live life: trusting my decisions, trusting the unknown, trusting my emotions, trusting life and God.
I use the word "God" loosely here -- you can use any word that refers to something bigger, a higher power than you. In my opinion, you're going to need it to alchemize your pain into higher and more profound levels of consciousness.
If you’re looking for a clinical approach for ROCD (Relationship OCD), however, this program may be too “spiritual” for you. My biggest credential is my yogic background, my 12-year partnership/marriage, and hundreds of happy clients, but I don’t claim to be able to treat or diagnose any disorder. For that, consult a medical professional. To see my back story and specific training, click here.
How does this program work?
Both Feet In - abridged is a more concise version of my signature program, Both Feet In. I've taken out the fluff, and the long lectures.
Work through my modules in your own time on a platform called Teachable, starting the first week of January. These modules will be gradually released prior to sessions (don’t worry, you’ll have at least 1-2 weeks prior to session).
We will also meet 3 times a month: twice to practice utilizing these tools (in partners or groups, with me floating around in breakout rooms on Zoom to assist), and once to pick my brain in a group coaching format. My greatest recommendation is that you find an accountability partner and practice the partner meditations 1-2x/week in your own time. We will have a Facebook group and chat to help you find others. This will be essential in a) processing your emotions, b) practice seeing (and being seen by) others, and c) having a place to hold yourself accountable to be the kind of partner you desire to be.
The Q&As will be recorded, but the partnered meditations won’t. If you miss a partner meditation session, no worries. The modules will teach you all the techniques. Your job is to meet with your accountability partner to practice them, whether in session with me or on your own.
What you get:
Access to modules, which include video and audio lectures, meditations, and PDFs (Released 1-2 weeks before corresponding group meditation sessions)
3 calls/month: 2 partner meditation, 1 group coaching (below)
Access to Facebook group to find people to practice the techniques you learn with, and make friends for life
Bonus: 1 Intimacy through Anxiety masterclass
Meditation/Partnered work calls
I will be teaching you how to hold space for someone while they process their emotions in front of you. Behind anxiety often hide emotions like grief, disappointment and rage -- very normal, human inner experiences! By being able to hold yourself and others through their/your "stuff," you'll be able to clear what I call your "emotional queue": the gunk that acts as a dirty filter preventing you from seeing your partner (and all life situations) with clear eyes. These calls will last 90 minutes, but I REALLY recommend you practice them again outside of our scheduled calls.
Group coaching calls
These are your opportunities to bring your questions to me. I will stay up to 3 hours depending on the number of questions. Bring tea and snacks! :-)
meeting calendar:
Opening/closing ceremonies + extra dates
Opening ceremony - January 19th - 2pm PST/5pm EST (1.5 hours)
Intimacy in Sex Masterclass - March 14 - 2pm PST/5pm EST (1.5 hours)
Closing ceremony - May 27th - 2pm PST/5pm EST (1.5 hours)
Meditation sessions - 1.5 hours
2nd Saturdays and 4th Fridays of the month -12pm PST/3pm EST
26 Jan
10 Feb
23 Feb
9 Mar
13 Apr
26 Apr
11 May
24 May
Coaching/Q&A sessions - up to 3 hours
3rd Saturdays of the month - 12pm PST/3pm EST
17 Feb
16 Mar
27 Apr
18 May
The Q&As and opening/closing ceremonies will be recorded and uploaded separately if you cannot attend. The group meditations will not be recorded as they will often be happening in breakout rooms! That said, the benefit of this is that you can play catch-up with others that did attend live. Or, attend another call 2 weeks later.
Should I do this program with my partner?
Not only do I not recommend it, I even highly suggest not telling your partner about this program unless absolutely necessary.
"I'm taking a program to help me deal with my relationship anxiety" will sadly, likely be received as "I'm paying a bunch of money to figure out how to co-exist with YOU"… even if you don’t intend it that way.
A big part of this program philosophy centers around staying in your own lane and being respectful of your partner’s journey, and how they feel guided in their own personal and spiritual development. Other programs may be for couples. That’s great. This one isn’t.
Instead, I recommend quietly withdrawing your focus from your relationship, and back into yourself as you do this program. Let your partner be curious about the changes that start happening, and experience the blissful magic of the results when your partner starts responding to your changes (in the way you've maybe been longing for them to) without you even trying.
I've had clients tell me this work has resulted in their partners...
Initiating sex more
Doing chores unprompted
Calling them more often
Complimenting them
Buying them flowers and gifts
Getting engaged
Apologizing
So just know, it's not just about pulling your foot out the door (you can commit whole-heartedly to a mediocre-feeling relationship and I won't judge you for a second... but there is more to life than that!), but cultivating the relationship of your dreams. 🙂
Ok… now to the nitty gritty!!
Modules:
1. Introduction - how to properly use this course and soak up the most juice available to you in this curriculum without wasting unnecessary time and energy
2. Birds Eye View - learn the roots of anxiety in safe partnership, and essential physical changes to make while on this healing journey before diving into the emotional components (AKA things to rule out that aren't going to sabotage your process)
3. Consciousness Exercise - a partnered practice that teaches you the core fundamentals on how to "be with" yourself and take full ownership of your inner experience. You will learn how to truly see someone and be seen without interference or "rescuing."
4. Polarity work - a partnered practice that teaches you the core fundamentals on how to "be with" others. This is an embodied, meditative practice on seeing the relationship dynamics alive inside of you and between you and others, and either getting them on the same page or working towards harmony between conflicting aspects of you without bulldozing any parts of you. A lifelong practice!
5. Re-writing history - A spin on inner child work. Another partnered practice that teaches you how to re-experience memories (which are currently re-playing themselves in your relationship) in a new way, leading to new perceptions and beliefs moving forward so you can stop playing out painful self-fulfilling prophecies executed by your shadow parts.
6. Communication - Start to see your relationship as your meditation practice, and use the tools you learned in polarity work and consciousness exercise to level up your communication skills and maximize the likelihood of getting your needs met without being unethical and/or manipulative.
7. A type of polarity work: Masculine/Feminine Polarity - understand how to utilize the powers of yin/yang to your advantage in your relationship
8. Alchemizing pain into pleasure - Need I say more? Yes, it can be done!
9. Life as your meditation practice/teacher - Learn how this work can be taken out into your community and beyond the scope of romantic partnership.
10. Library of meditation and regulation tools
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Testimonials from past group programs:
FAQs
Q: What techniques do you use in this program?
A: I will pull from a mix of what’s worked in my personal experience as well as from our coaching, mindfulness, and embodiment training backgrounds.
My approaches use a combination of shadow work, inner child work, mindfulness and somatic processing techniques as taught under the lineage of Stefi Preiss, Christian Meyer and Eli Jaxon-Bear. I also draw from Nonviolent Communication education by Marshall Rosenburg, polarity concepts inspired by David Deida, John Wineland, and Madelyn Moon, and the Change Triangle by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. Other teachers I’ve been influenced by: Teal Swan, Eckhart Tolle, Sheryl Paul, Chelsea Horton, Peter Levine, and Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.
Q: do i need to be in a relationship to be in this program?
A: The work is, first and foremost, for you. A lot of this work is bringing your unconscious patterns to light and therefore shifting how YOU show up, and evoking changes in your partner without their conscious knowing. If you are single, this work will help you clear out gunk and prepare you for your next relationship. It will also give you tools that will help you make decisions in dating. I believe everyone needs to know this information — in relationship or not.
Q: i can’t attend all the sessions. will i miss out?
A: The most important sessions to attend live will be the group coaching sessions so I can support you uniquely. For the partner meditation sessions, you will be getting a chance to practice the tools I’ll be teaching you in the Teachable course (I will of course offer a re-cap before I send you into breakout rooms on Zoom). The good news is that thanks to others in the program, you can use the Facebook group to catch up on whatever you missed and practice with others in the program outside of sessions.
Q: can men join this program?
A: Due to the vulnerable nature of the group calls and partner sessions, I will be reserving live sessions for women. However, after the program has launched, I will open up the program for all, including men.
Q: Is this program refundable?
A: Commitment is scary, and we would like you to invite you to take a risk -- when you’re in, you’re in, baby. That said, you may request a full refund up to 48 hours prior to the first call (the first call is January 19th) , and will get to view a couple videos on Teachable before then.
If you are using a payment plan, you are obligated to pay each month.
Q: How many people will be in this program?
A: The more, the merrier!
Q: How do i know this program is for me?
A: Truly, you never know anything for sure, just like you never quite know where your relationships will land. An investment, whether it be in relationship or in a program like this, is always a risk. The same voice that questions your relationship, trying to protect you from disappointment and heartbreak, will often show up when making financial risks, too. I invite you to question the black-and-white thinking of “this will either help me OR it won’t” and try this sentence on for size: “I am always expanding and learning, whether I am aware of it or not.” Also — the clients that do well in our programs are usually the ones that show up consistently and do the work. There is no program that will do the work for you. That said — if what I’m saying resonates with you, and you’re in a safe partnership or desiring to be able to enjoy one, what I’ve shared with you barely scratches the surface. I promise these approaches will be in alignment with what I’ve already shared on this page.
Q: How do i know for sure i actually have relationship anxiety, or if i just need to leave?
A: This sounds a lot like a question relationship anxiety would ask! 😉 This isn’t a cut-and-dry answer. If you’ve got a partner that’s devoted to you, ready to commit and build a life with you, and can teach you about love, I believe it’s a partnership worth exploring as these patterns of fears of intimacy will show up no matter where you go. That said, I will point you to another question: what if you couldn’t do this wrong? What if this work still would apply to you no matter what you decide?
Q: I’m scared to do this work and find out i actually need to leave.
A: This is the number one fear people have — even above making an investment that’s a bust. I’ll also tell you this next to never happens — and when it does, it’s not because of this work, but due to other factors that make themselves known (life happens). There is no terrible side of you with some terrible truth or verdict. Just very activated parts of you acting out to get your attention. When you haven’t experienced a level of detachment from your thoughts before and accessed the realm of Self, every thought feels supremely true and you’re unable to trust otherwise. This work isn’t about forcing anything or discovering some terrible truth. I know it’s probably hard to believe, because the thoughts are so scary and convincing. But the healing work is actually so profound and beautiful, and it can even be fun! No matter what happens, you will be ok and ease is possible regardless of your external circumstances.
Q: can i join this program after it has already started?
A: Yes.
So… are you coming?
You don’t need to be single to find yourself… a wordless knowing of your most profound truth sits inside your fear, calling you deeper…
Xo
Natalie Kennedy